things seem to be going very well for me this week. but yet, i still feel the need to complain. ha. i'm starting to wonder if this is a major character flaw of mine, or just simply human nature.

i don't really have enough time to get into explaining my last post where i teased y'all with my good news. i'm sorry. i fell off the blogging bandwagon and i need to get right back on track. but synopsis again: i got accepted into a grad class. i had a monologue written specifically for me... which means, i will be acting again. those two facts are enough to be the star on top of my christmas tree, lol. i've wanted to be an actress again and a grad. student for quite some time, so i should just be walking on clouds right now.

and i am. oh, you better believe i am.

but, i'm still disappointed with a situation which played out in a way i really didn't expect it would. its really not fair of me to talk about it, without really explaining it all. i just don't want to get into details. its tough not knowing who is actually reading my blog. it makes me want to only disclose a certain amount of information. thats silly actually. one of the reasons i started this blog was that i wanted to get comfortable with "nonfiction" ha. i mean- i wanted to feel comfortable with honesty regardless of who may be reading. i spent a good portion of this year sharing what i thought other people wanted to hear, therefore, not sharing a lot of my "truth." i guess it all goes back to my previous post on the word "vulnerable." many people have "public" persona's. not because they are trying to be nefarious or shady. just because they are who they feel they are expected to be. a lot of the time, i just don't share everything because i don't want to hurt another person or embarrass myself.

but i am getting away from my point.

i'm disappointed in a person who i really respect and admire. this person is a new person in my life, so while i don't actually know this person as well as some of my other friends, i feel like we really "clicked." i'm disappointed because the person is pretty nonexistent lately- and the absenteeism is pretty obvious. i'm not disappointed per say that this person isn't around. i'm more disappointed because of the way they disappeared. vanished. i think this person is a stand up person, so the hiding really bothers me, because this person is above that. i guess it bothers me most because i haven't trusted many people in a long time. and i felt, and oddly still feel, like i trust this person. so i'm a little angry. but mostly, i'm really hurt.

oh, well. what can you do? do i think i'll never talk to this person again? no. i'm sure i will. i know i'm even being more dramatic about this situation than i should. again, i'm mainly upset because i put my full faith in a person who didn't think would let me down. i'm sure things will work themselves out.

i should probably stop complaining. life is good. i've got my brother and my best friends birthday parties to attend tonight. so i need to get going.