grace in small things number 29
today i am most grateful for growing up a pretty healthy child

when i was a kid, i was pretty damn healthy. i broke a few fingers and toes, but for the most part, that was it. i had chickenpox as a young child but besides that, i really didn't get sick until i had lyme disease the year i graduated from high school.

pretty lucky huh?

after the lyme disease, my health kind of took a back road. i didn't get too sick, or anything like that, i just started getting very random health problems. once in college, i got so sick that for months, i coughed so much, that the doctors thought i had Whooping Cough. i would sleep in 1/2 hour intervals and throw up all day long from coughing too much! its funny to look back on it now, but then it was tough. especially because i was doing some wedding planning. i coughed about every three words. not easy when you are attempting to be professional ;)

anyway, i'm not going to get into my medical problems. some are personal, and i don't know how much i want to get into. the reason i bring all this up, is because in the past year and a half, i have had some pretty serious concerns. MANY concerns. some not cool concerns. i shouldn't be too dramatic. most of my concerns have all been really taken care of. in fact... i have been really healthy for almost a year.

except that i haven't felt that healthy all winter. i've felt like possibly i either have a recurrence of lyme disease OR that i am technically really an 84 year old woman in a 24 year old's body.

sucks, huh?

i don't want to get too much into this either. i'm just doing a whole lot of thinking and processing, and i guess i will talk more about it later when i 1.)know specifically what is wrong and 2.) have a better grasp on HOW i feel about this.

basically, i got some blood tests done this past monday, and the results didn't come back all that great. i am extremely deficient in vitamin D. basically, i practically have no vitamin D in my body, which i guess makes sense in regards to my joint problems and past depression last year. and then i also found out that i have an autoimmune disease. i need to get more testing done in 5 weeks, but the doctors think i have lupus. yikes, huh? i'm a BIG believer in diagnosis. especially since i lived with lyme disease for so long with soooo many people telling me NOTHING was wrong with me. i KNOW my body, and i KNEW something was wrong. so i was actually excited to find out i had lyme. it means 1.) i'm not crazy and 2.) its something i can treat and 3.) you can't die from lyme disease and finally 4.) i get to feel better soon!

so i feel the same way about getting a diagnosis now! lupus is a lot worse than lyme disease in my opinion, but at least i can work on getting healthier once i know what to treat, right?

well folks. i don't want y'all to worry about me. i wouldn't mind you sending positive thoughts my way, but i guess i just wanted to get that off my chest. no biggie. i feel fine. i just HATE waiting for a diagnosis. i feel like i have spent the past 2 years WAITING to find out what is wrong with me.

anyway, enough complaining. now that i am older and can look back at my childhood. it is nice that i grew up so healthy. a lot of people can't say that. a very good friend of mine's younger brother had really bad leukemia his whole childhood. it was so sad to watch him go through that. so i was lucky. and i need to remember that when i whine. i had well over 20 years being very healthy. and thats wonderful!