would you like to know how i feel right now?
not very good.
i've been cleaning my apartment and watching the dvd of eve ensler's vagina monologues.
(i actually preformed 2 monologues in college- expect to hear more about this tomorrow)
when suddenly, i felt kind of queasy. now, it is 8pm and i haven't eaten dinner yet. i usually eat right after work...but it wasn't hunger pangs.
in fact. i felt kind of car sick.
you know....
sitting in the backseat of a really warm car on a summer day, with all the windows rolled up, with no sunglasses so the sun is constantly in your eyes, with the radio on some obnoxious talk station, the windy road, the pot holes, being convinced that just a little bit of fresh air will make you feel better, when you lay your heavy head against the window or the frame and feel every vibration of the moving vehicle underneath your forehead.
well, yeah. i felt like that.
now my teeth hurt.
let me take that back. my teeth do not hurt. they feel heavy. heavy as in my teeth feel like they weigh a few extra pounds in my very little, extraordinarily small mouth.
and my forehead. yikes. it feels smoky. like there is smoke floating around in my head. a lot of thick cloudy smoke. thick...thick like algae in a dirty pond.
and my sinuses. well it feels as if there are paper weights resting on them.
but the nausea. the nausea. oh the nausea.
i feel like i am on a drowning lifeboat in the middle of the rockiest seas. seas so rough the coast guard wouldn't even come save me.

yeah. and guess what?
i don't have the flu. i don't have a sinus infection. i didn't eat anything which would upset my stomach.

but yet every day...or at least every other day something like this happens. some days its my head. other days its my stomach. or its my teeth.

pretty soon my hair will hurt. i am sure of it.