questions-
for those of you know know wordpress...

how do i get labels on my posts?

for example, when i do my grace in small things posts on here, they are all labels "grace in small things" that way y'all can easily search through the toolbar on the right for them, or i can search for them when i edit my posts.

how do you do that in wordpress..
i tried tags and categories, but it seems like when i click it- it brings me to a page where i can see who else is writing about that same topic?

know what i am talking about?

seriously...i have an update.

• there has just been so much going on. no time to focus. not time to update my dear blog. i have been keeping track of my grace in small things project, as well as my 101 in 1001 project, and i PROMISE by the end of the weekend everything will be completely uploaded and updated.
• my muscles hurt.
• i spent quite some time today at work researching what type of illnesses i may or may not have. if you've been reading my blog (or know me in real life...) you know i have a love/hate relationship with my body. i'm either feeling pretty good or feeling like a hot mess. and no one is quite sure what is wrong with me. but i'd say in the past 2-3 months i have been feeling pretty well.
• fast-forward to this past week... i'm not so healthy any more. i'm pretty convinced my skin is MUCH worse than it was last year when i went for my annual full body scan. i have a lump in my neck which has been there since march. and i honestly think i am losing a lot of hair. i shed a lot, but this is more than usual.
• but the whole wedmd experience today- that was just a moment of hypochondria.
• i've got two pretty major things i want to talk about but i'm not sure what i should or shouldn't say...

• i will tell you one of the two things..... I AM APPLYING TO GRADUATE SCHOOL... and may even possible be able to start this upcoming semester!
• i'm also taking a grad class at Brown University
• and to top it all off......

• i'm SERIOUSLY thinking of switching to WordPress.... and soon. i signed up for an account and have just been poking around and so far, i think i like it.
• i think i want to change over, and i honestly think i want to do it soon
• i don't really know what i want.

but in all seriousness... would y'all mind sending me your email addresses? i think if i switch over, i am considering not linking this blog to that one... i don't know... maybe i'll just keep them linked. what do you think i should do???

anyway, new email address for the blog.

erinuncensored @ gmail.com

pretty darn creative, huh?

will you please tell me what to do?

grace in small things #161

today i am grateful that we, as americans, have the right to free speech, etc.
i'm very darn grateful, because the right to believe what i choose and voice those beliefs is very important to me.

i'm also very grateful that we have government politicians who try- whether we agree with them or not- to make what they think is a positive change.

i'm very glad rep. barney frank is a representative from my state, and this video really made my day.



rep. frank is so smooth with his words, haha. but i loved every second of it.

and this woman is a ridiculous idiot and i will absolutely tell her this if i ever see her. IDIOT!
(if you watch the whole video, not this one, thats were she looks most like a fool)

today i am majorly grateful for something which is so amazing!!!
(aka gist #153)

i found another four leaf clover.... in my yard!!!!!!!!!!!!

and all by myself!!!!!!!!!!!

hopefully i will be able to take a picture of it after i laminate it at work! yippeee :)

dear ________,

i'm not quite sure who to address this little note to.
you, i guess. whoever happens to have landed on my page, and reads these words i type.

there isn't much to say to you. the only thing i can do is complain. and feel bad for myself.
things are temporarily kind of tough around these neck of the woods. i am overwhelmingly overwhelmed. i can't seem to even remember the things i need to do, never mind do them. and i'm anxious as all hell.

whats wrong you might ask? nothing big, nothing life consuming. mostly work stuff, social stuff. stuff i would love to share with any of you in a personal email or something of the sort. i'm just very paranoid about who might read my blog. i'm not worried about what i write, i'm just worried about how people will interpret it.

anyway, regarding work and social stuff, i just feel like i am past my boiling point. past the point of no return. yet i feel trapped, i feel stuck, and i feel like i have absolutely no options at all.
i don't know what to do.

and i'm not quite sure there really happens to be a good answer as to what i should do, either.
ugh, i wish i could just explain it. i wish once i just complained about things, someone would say, oh i've got a magical answer for you. here is what you should do...
i want direction. i want someone to point me in a direction.

and on top of everything else...(there is A LOT of shit going on right now, even if its not bad stuff, i just feel overwhelmed.)... i get this shitty little email in my inbox this afternoon.

i didn't quite know what to do about it. first, i was pissed and planned on just copying and pasting the email onto a new post to embarrass the person who wrote it. then, i got irritated that i even let this person get to me, so i figured i was just going to let it go and stop thinking about it...

but i just can't. so, instead of giving any credit to the idiot who emailed me...i'll do a quick recap. i got a LONG email about how i am a "creep" and a "Fake" because i write about things i am grateful for. (yeah, i didn't quite understand at first either.) basically, this person has been a "lurker" for quite some time, and "at first thought it was honourable" that i posted at least one thing i was grateful for on a daily basis. "BUT THEN I FOUND OUT YOU WERE FAKE AS CAN BE AND YOU MAKE THINGS UP WHICH IS JUST WRONG AND EVIL" (yeah, this person is serious, and yes, everything in quotes comes directly from the email.)

i'm not sure how anyone "found out" i was "fake, wrong and evil" but please do share however you found this information out, because you sure have peaked my interest.

basically, i guess they noticed (through google reader or some program similar to it- i am completely assuming) that occasionally, i will type up a bunch of my GIST entries at once. i guess those are grounds on which i should be ridiculed. the funny thing is that this person provided ME with info as to my posting patterns over the past few months.

SERIOUSLY?

i'm the only person posting on this site, so i think i am well aware of my own patterns, thank you. the point she was trying to make, (again i assume) is that she doesn't like i might post a few days at once. i honestly didn't know it was against the law and guess what- i don't care.

i PRIDE myself on writing at least one thing i am grateful for on a daily basis. if it doesn't get onto the blog as quickly as someone would like then too bad! its written wherever i put it. sometimes i write things on napkins at restaurants or on memos at work and mostly, actually almost daily, i write them in my agenda. when i get a minute, i type them up and put them on here. and guess what? i woek almost 7 days a week, every week. i usually work 60-70 hours per week. i barely have enough time to take a shower in the morning, let alone blog on schedule!!

and let me make something very clear. i have not missed ONE DAY since i started one hundred and forty seven days ago... which is not normally like me. i can be flaky here and there, but i am amazed with how dedicated i am to this project. and the only "people" i need to "report to" with "honest greatfullness" (yes, you should look at spell check before sending emails) is MYSELF!!!
and my very good blog friends who read me and comment here regularly. what are there, like five of you ? :)

i'm done talking about this bullshit. i am dedicated to this blog. i am dedicated to grace in small things, and even more so, i really consider myself to thrive on honesty. if i forgot to do a day where i recorded my thankfulness, i would probably write posts and posts about how sorry i was to have skipped a day. and if this person really was detailed, they would have read back and realized this is the SECOND time i started GIST because i missed too many entries the first time. and my guilt led me to begin again.

so, stopping this tangent...i'm better than that person gives me credit to be. and in my opinion, if you do not like what i do, what i say, what i think, or even what you ASSUME i do, think or say, then WHY do you WASTE your time reading my blog???

don't bother.

i really LOVE some of my blog friends. i really care about them on a day to day basis and send positive thoughts their way. i am blessed to have "met" so many inspiring, beautiful people. so you can take your sassyness and negativity elsewhere.

and to really end this negative note, i'd like to take a moment to say... today i am BEYOND grateful for some of the people who i do really care about in blog world. i'm sure you guys know who you are, because you are the kind folk who read me and leave me comments. you are the kind people whose page i try to comment on. you are the amazing people i chat with through twitter, or 20SB. in fact, until today, i have respected and admired and adored and crushed on all of you beautiful bloggers i have made the acquaintance of, even for a quick moment....

AND I REFUSE TO LET ANYONE RUIN THAT. TAKE YOUR NEGATIVITY SOMEWHERE ELSE. damn, i hate capital letters.

respectfully,
erin

p.s. yeah, someone was seriously upset that i am not being thankful the way they think i should be. what????

gist #147
today i am most grateful for all my loyal, kind, beautiful, amazing blog friends.
read the upcoming post and you will understand why.

some people i just do not understand.

my wonderful blog friends... well, you- i love and understand.

grace in small things
130th edition
today instead of writing about a few of the things i am most grateful for, i'm just going to post some pictures.
these were taken at gene's 30th birthday party. the guys in the band are Rylo, some of my very closest friends who live in virginia, but came up to play at the party. what a damn great night. perfect.

would you like to know how i feel right now?
not very good.
i've been cleaning my apartment and watching the dvd of eve ensler's vagina monologues.
(i actually preformed 2 monologues in college- expect to hear more about this tomorrow)
when suddenly, i felt kind of queasy. now, it is 8pm and i haven't eaten dinner yet. i usually eat right after work...but it wasn't hunger pangs.
in fact. i felt kind of car sick.
you know....
sitting in the backseat of a really warm car on a summer day, with all the windows rolled up, with no sunglasses so the sun is constantly in your eyes, with the radio on some obnoxious talk station, the windy road, the pot holes, being convinced that just a little bit of fresh air will make you feel better, when you lay your heavy head against the window or the frame and feel every vibration of the moving vehicle underneath your forehead.
well, yeah. i felt like that.
now my teeth hurt.
let me take that back. my teeth do not hurt. they feel heavy. heavy as in my teeth feel like they weigh a few extra pounds in my very little, extraordinarily small mouth.
and my forehead. yikes. it feels smoky. like there is smoke floating around in my head. a lot of thick cloudy smoke. thick...thick like algae in a dirty pond.
and my sinuses. well it feels as if there are paper weights resting on them.
but the nausea. the nausea. oh the nausea.
i feel like i am on a drowning lifeboat in the middle of the rockiest seas. seas so rough the coast guard wouldn't even come save me.

yeah. and guess what?
i don't have the flu. i don't have a sinus infection. i didn't eat anything which would upset my stomach.

but yet every day...or at least every other day something like this happens. some days its my head. other days its my stomach. or its my teeth.

pretty soon my hair will hurt. i am sure of it.

why is my body on a mission to attack me however it deems possible? can't a girl be healthy, or at least be sick with just ONE or TWO problems? (unlike the 491, 672 problems i seem to always have)!!!!!!!!!

damn those few months of health at the end of 2008 were nice. i should have enjoyed them more.

Grr. Grrr. Grrr. Boo. Boo. Boo. UGH!

thats it. i'm going to try to let all this negativity go.

but all i can say is if my body thinks it can win a war against me, well fuck that. i'm boss. and there is no way i'm going to let my body make me sick again. you here that cells?!?!?!

ok, rant is over.

grace number 66
today i am most grateful for free speech and our president.

i'll be honest, i'm a little frustrated with notre dame university. if you haven't read it in the news, (hmm, maybe i can post about this for today's stealing saturdays post) the catholics at notre dame and in the surrounding community do not want president obama to do the speech at their graduation commencement.

i mean, people are protesting and getting arrested left and right. all because they don't agree with some of the things that president obama believes in. really? is that really worth getting arrested for? i mean, i am alllllll for freedom of speech and believing in something. for the catholics in the notre dame area, i am very glad you believe so strongly in what you do...but the president is going to YOUR school to wish YOUR graduates luck and send them on the way of their future. he isn't going to your school to preform abortions or stem cell research, or whatever it is that you against. he is simply there to give his blessing, in a sense.

i guess this is a controversial post in my mind. i really do believe in free speech. i was never a fan of george bush, and am really glad he never spoke at my graduation. but if he did...then in some sense i would be honored. i mean, he WAS the president of the united states. i don't know maybe i'm just irritated with those catholics.

you know what irks me? on something i watched on tv about this situation, you see a mother yelling hysterically at the person who is interviewing them. she is screaming and says something like "because of HIM, i need to explain to my FOUR YEAR OLD daughter what ABORTION IS!!!!!!!" okay. this woman was an ignorant asshole. I mean she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown on tv. it was because she was standing and holding a 5 foot poster of an aborted fetus. i have such a problem with posters of aborted fetuses. i am 100% behind pro-choice. i honestly do not think i would be emotionally able to have an abortion myself. i've wanted to be a mother for too long, that i don't think i could do it. but i respect that i have the CHOICE to do. and i respect the extremely difficult choice others make. anyway back to the point... this woman made the choice herself to HOLD a sign of an aborted fetus with her four year old daughter standing on the side of her. that is so wrong in my opinion. aren't parents supposed to shelter their children? how scary that must have been for that little girl. i think this woman needs to take responsibility for her daughter wondering what abortion is. if this woman wasn't standing on the side of the road screaming about it with a ft poster of an aborted fetus, then i am sure her daughter wouldn't have asked. its not president obama's fault that she needed to explain abortion to a four year old.

i hope i didn't insult any one's beliefs with this post. i am a religious person and i also really believe in people having the right to believe whatever they want. its just irritating to me to see people protesting the president attending a graduation. it is just a graduation folks.

denny,

tonight was very overwhelming.
it very well may be the last time i see you. in fact i believe that tonight is the last night that i will. and that breaks my heart.
but i guess i can't complain; i can't be negative. i didn't think i ever would see you again. but you showed up. and you might have possibly saved izzy's life. and even if you didn't save it, you gave her the chance to have the most beautiful last moments of life.
it broke my heart when you said your last words. i hate seeing you go forever.
you were such a kind, funny and honest man. i loved and respected you, or at least what you represented in your character.
i'm glad i got to see you one last time denny. grey's will not be the same without you.

with my love,
erin

dear jerk in the white truck,

i just wanted to thank you for not killing me today when you pulled out of your parking lot and avoided hitting me by a mere few inches. really. its what i am most grateful for today. also, i really appreciated your gesture of sticking your head out of the window, while blocking the entire road now, and calling me a f*cking bitch. its moments like this when i recognize just how classy humankind really is. its also moments like this when i realize that even in the few moments i feel miserable and bitter... i'm very proud of myself for not succumbing to a toddler tantrum and attempting to ruin another persons day. because obviously other people can't be that mature. EVEN WHEN THEY ARE THE ASSHOLE THAT DRIVES THEIR VEHICLE DIRECTLY ONTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING IN EITHER DIRECTION BEFORE PULLING OUT OF A DAMN PARKING LOT. so yeah white truck driver, i just wanted to thank you for making me realize how lucky i am to not be so miserable. i'm also very grateful that your ignorance and bad driving didn't kill me.

have a wonderful day. i hope all your dreams come true,
erin

stealing saturdays: may 2nd edition

not that i want to take any seriousness away from the swine flu, but when i read this at just for the halibut, it really just struck me.

y'all should really think about this.

"90 people get the swine flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom."

folks, today we have been duped.
we've been lied to
and now i am hurt.

i'm a subscriber to (what i thought were) two remarkable, beautiful women.
c jane and miss musing.

today, while reading my reader at work (shame on me) i noticed that c jane wrote a post about being plagerized.

"wow." i thought, "this is so horrible. how could anyone do that and actually get away with that?"

now because i am busy at work, i almost clicked away without reading the full story, but something told me...read the entire thing erin...

i cannot even believe what i found. basically, someone i thought i was "friends" with online appears to be a complete hoax. i never thought i would care about a blogger friend, talk to them through comments and emails, and then have this ending come about.

first read c janes post.
then read this post and then for an even further update, read this post.

THEN, most importantly, read the post i wrote FOR THIS PERSON about how i care about them and how i wanted y'all to send them positive thoughts (don't forget to check out your nice words in the comment section... and HER COMMENT to me!!!)

FINALLY, read ANOTHER blog i wrote about how SHE is one of my FAVORITE bloggers.

i'm disgusted by this. i swear: ep, tattooed dorothy, christine and ruby red slippers... i'm so going to beat you guys up if you aren't real. lol. even though i don't even think this is a possibility since y'all are some of the realest people i have met... i just figured i would add it in here since i love you guys.

does anyone else find this extraordinarily doochey? i honestly feel hurt. i feel like there are a handfull of bloggers out there i really care about and consider friends...even if we haven't met. how could someone try and start a bond and a relationship with another person if it is all a ruse? and how did i not notice all of this?

i guess you will get your daily GIST later, cause i'm not feeling very grateful right now.

i don't enjoy today's SS...

this is ridiculous. this is a NEW law!?!?!?! are you serious? i respect all cultures. i even studied islam in college. BUT...i NEVER respect what i interpret as legalized rape. THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!

so, i finally figured out why my comments weren't working. you know when you create a post in blogger...there is a little link at the bottom left corner of the box that says post options. well, when i clicked on it (after trying to change everything else 45,009 times), i noticed it was set to don't allow comments, or whatever it says. how did that happen?

the weird things were, my old postings still said allow comments! so i guess i accidently clicked it to dont allow comments, and then that was my default from then on.

ugh, blogger... you are breaking my heart!

well, i went back to EACH post and changed it to say allow... so feel free to comment anywhere you wanted before. i'm hoping this is not just a temporary fix. i'm hoping we won't get in this situation again!!!

but my only question is... for the few random comments i have received in the past two weeks, how did you actually pull off leaving me a comment?