Tuesday, November 18, 2008
i've been pretty stagnant lately. i don't like feeling stagnant. i like calmness; i like life to be simple.
i just don't like to feel like i'm waiting for something but nothings happening.
i love lists.
yes, lists.
i don't know why specifically. i have pretty much always been a list maker. it helps me clear my head (which is no easy project) and helps me stay organized.
i watched the bucket list a few months back. i guess the winds of serendipity blew the movie into my life at a time i pretty much needed to watch it. 2008 was a tough year. i've already written about that. and i was just exhausted with life come july. then The Ex and i break up, which was a good thing, but still difficult nonetheless.
i think the toughest theme of the year, as well as the breakup, is "reinventing myself." don't get me wrong. i am so fortunate to have the chance to embrace this change and put my feet firmly in a new direction. its just that change, esspecially revitalizing yourself isn't always a walk in the park. its tough to look at your failures and try to figure out how to change your faults. its tough to just give up the reigns of control and say, "whatever happens, happens. i'm just here for the ride." actually, that is a lie. its very easy to say that you are giving up control and embracing the unknown. what i meant to say was that it is challenging to actually follow through with that statement.
anyway, like usual, i'm being long-winded. i loved the idea of a bucket list. for those of you who haven't watched the movie, a bucket list is a list of all the things you would like to do before you 'kick the bucket'.
i think i've spent my lifetime forming a bucket list in my own mind, but never really putting it down onto paper. what would you want to do before you die? what is important to you? i think this the idea of a bucket list is something everyone should consider, and work hard at completing.
if you don't set goals for yourself, you will never be able to acheive them.
so this summer, the bucket list really motivated me to get back on track and think about what i want. i write random things down here and there. i just want to remind myself when i get in moods like i've been in that instead of feeling bad for myself, i've got to get out there and actually live. i don't want some one at my funeral to read my list and say "this is what she always wished she could do".
so. my bucket list. may i have the motivation and drive to hit this list and hit it hard.
here goes nothing:
1. get married to a good, trustworthy man who loves me and our children.
2. have and raise healthy, happy, respectful and intelligent children
3. sing the national anthem in fenway park
4. meet the guy from Rainman: Kim Peeks
5. skydive
5. vacation in every single state of the US
6. fill up a passport before it expires
7. sunbathe naked
8. be hypnotized to see if it would actually work
9. pet an alligator again
10. get the highest degree possible in writing
11. swim with the dolphins
12. go horseback riding
13. write a book
14. learn how to shoot a gun (DONE- taught by officer emerson, one of my best friends)
15. spend some time learning what it feels like to be blind (DONE- dialogue in the dark)
15. teach college writing classes
15. take a gondola ride under the bridge of sighs in venis with my husband
16. ride an elephant
17. go to at least one red sox game in fenway park every season
18. meet red sox players during spring training
19. go grape stomping to make wine
20. be in attendance at a world series game in which the red sox are playing
21. learn american sign language fluently
22. stand in two places at the same time
23. watch my children get married to a good, loving person who makes them happy
24. have grandchildren
25. release the anger i feel toward how alcoholism effects a family
26. eat ice cream regularly
27. go paintballing
28. record a CD (DONE- its true)
29. never feel too old to jump in puddles and do rain dances
30. become a lobbyist for a cause i believe in
31. donate to charities/causes i believe in atleast once per year
32. make photography a serious hobby
33. have my own consultation business for event planning and organizational develeopment
thats it for now, but i'm going to try as hard as i can to update this list every time i think of something.
you've got to have something to strive for. you might as well make it something you enjoy.
Labels: babies, drinks, grad school, my bucket list, poetry, red sox, vacation, writing
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