g.i.s.t. # 199
today i am extremely excited because....drum roll please...
i bought tickets to the ALDS...

but there are a lot of factors in this situation.

one, the red sox need to make it into the playoffs.
two, there needs to be a third game played at fenway park during the ALDS.
and then... if that is the case, then i will be attending a game at fenway park.

god, i love the post-season :)

2008 in pictures...

the love of my life was born: my nephew

the view from room 438

trish asked me and amy to be bridesmaids

me and baby james went on a road trip to VA (mommy and daddy came too!)

my rylo guys in concert. miss y'all!

you're going to have to cut me some slack for the hair/outfit. i just got discharged from the ER and i had to break into my own totaled car!

ouch!

best game of my life! 4th row seats in section 41! perfecto!


i already have so many ATL pics on here, so i figured i'd just put one.

best experience of my life!

hey, don't blame me! this is what my bro and sister-in-law got fen for xmas!

this is what you have to deal with if you live in new england!

you might notice that there is a chunk of time cut out of this review... i simply just didn't want to include any pics of The Ex... you aren't missing too much.

i’m also a sucker for surveys, so since I saw this up on A Perfectly Cursed Life, i figured, what the hell, everyone else is doing one!

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
get over a relationship way quicker than i expected too. like really quickly.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year? yes. i resolved to lose some weight and continue to be a non-smoker. i did both of those things without a problem, actually. no, i will not be making new years resolutions. i want to continue growing in 2009, and i want this to be a great year of my life. thats why i don't want to pressure myself into anything. just continue on the path i'm already on. plus, i have a 101 in 1001 to get started on new years day!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
umm, YES! 2008 was the year of baby making and delivery! my nephew was born on 1/3. michaela, sharon and elizabeth got preggo in 2008. and last night, my newphew nicholas was born!!

4. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
peace of mind, happiness. i really only lacked this the first 2/3 of the year though. i just wouldn't mind a very calm, but happy 2009.

5. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
1/3: nephew was born; 1/13: my ex's father died all of a sudden; 2/4: bad health news; 7/3: had to put my cat to sleep; 7/20: the ex and i break up, yay!; 9/23: was at the post season clinching sox game; 10/16: went to game 5 of the ALCS where the sox came back from a 7-0 score to WIN! best game ever, ever, ever; 10/17: went to atl to visit my loves eliz and chris; 12/30: baby nicholas was born. i hope i'm not forgetting anything!

6. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
making myself happy again

7. What was your biggest failure in 2008?
my relationship...but while it appears to be a failure, it was one of the best things that happened to me!

8. Where did most of your money go?
eating out and bills. lol, sad but true.

9. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder? happier!!!!
b) Thinner or fatter? thinner!!!
c) Richer or poorer? i guess richer, not too much difference though.

10. What do you wish you’d done more of?
put myself first

11. What do you wish you’d done less of?
worry. put my ex first.

12. Did you fall in love in 2008?
with my nephew, yes.

13. What was your favorite TV program?
greys anatomy

14. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
i actually do not hate anyone. there are a number of people i severely do not like, but i don't waste my energy on those people.

15. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i went to the zoo the morning of my birthday. i turned 24 this year. i was in severe pain the rest of my bday weekend.

16. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
breaking up with The Ex when it all started going downhill in feb.

17. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
slimming down so lots of new pants!

18. What kept you sane?
vacations, my friends and family. wait... was i sane this year?

19. What political issue stirred you the most?
obviously, like most people: the presidential election. locally: the bullshit witch hunt on the superintendent. i can name you a handful of people i WON'T be voting for this coming november. especially the mayor.

20. Who was the best new person you met?
my new blog friends are fantastic. i haven't met them though! i guess i'd say sally is probably the best meet of 2008. (if you don't count my nephew)

21. Tell us what valuable life lessons you learned in 2008...
stop worrying, if he doesn't love you like you love him, then leave him and love yourself, put yourself first, a healthy body=healthy mind.

random thoughts i figured i'd share. what the hell, right? ;)

i think i have a crush on the next president of the united states. its true. i've got a little thing for obama. he's just got this approachable sense about him. don't get me wrong, he is good looking, but i think my crush stems from how he "appears," not his "appearance." he just looks like someone i would love to talk to. i usually develop crushes on guys i think are really interesting.

i'm not the type of person who really likes things. i am, however, the type of person who loves things. there are a lot of people who claim to really like carrot cake or scented candles or baseball hats. that wouldn't be me. i either like something or i love something. for example... i like green beans. i've got nothing against them; you make me a meal with greens beans, and sure, i'll eat them. this being said, i love pea pods. i've got such a thing for them. sometimes i sit and try to think of creative ways to incorporate pea pods into more meals. seeing as i don't regularly cook for myself, the combinations i've come up with so far would be quite gross. pea pods in spaghetti. ugh. pea pods in eggs, pancakes, etc. ugh. pea pods in apple pie. double ugh. i do make a mean stir fry, but pea pods belong in a stir fry, so that doesn't even count! anyone have any pea pod suggestions for me?

anyway, i love pumpkin coffee. i love traditions. i love being a student. i love getting surprise presents for my friends. i love helping strangers do simple things. i love red sox baseball caps. i own probably at least 10, and i do not plan ever stopping purchasing them. i love to travel. i love lists. i love new people. i love hearing stories about people's lives.

i have liked the jason mraz song "i'm yours" since 2005. wait, actually i have loved the song since then. now everyone in the world is slightly obsessed with it, and that bothers me.

i am almost at 100 blog posts. that number may sound pathetic to some of you seasoned bloggers, but i am pretty darn excited about it.

other things i love: record players, driving in my car with good music on so loud that i cannot think about anything other than driving, singing and dancing, ice cream, SUVs, hot southern men in pickup trucks, accents.

i need to get over my anxiety about being picked up. i'm a little lady, so i feel as if a lot of guys feel intrigued with picking me up while hugging me. the theory of being picked up while being hugged, i loovvvveeeee. when it actually happens, i get nervous. i think i actually kind of push all my weight down, so i can get back to solid ground faster. i'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this all started cause at one time i probably thought i was too "chubby" to be picked up. the older i get the more irrational i realize that ever was. i've always been a thin girl. don't get me wrong, i'm no bikini model...but i am very petite, so while at times i may have had a few extra pounds where they didn't belong, i certainly wouldn't be hard to pick up. shit, Lauren, the S in our SATC trys to pick me up every time she sees me! i don't even let her ;) now, before i postes a mini video of ryan gosling and rachael mcadams (or whatever their names are) in a "pick-up make out session." that example is a reason why i feel as if i need to give up my fear of being picked up. i don't really know what point i am making right now. i guess i just need to fight my urge to flee when i am picked up and embrace it. i guess i'll let you know how that goes!

i think anyone whose last name begins with the letters A-M have received my holiday cards. for those poor suckers in the N-Z category. i'm sorry. they have been written out since 12/7, i believe. but are currently just sitting on my desk in a pile (which i look at every day) because i've yet to get more postage. i'm thinking you'll receive them by mid-january at latest.

i can't steal anything this saturday, because i am obsessively trying to purchase red sox tickets online. from 10am until whenever they stop selling tickets. if last year is any indication as to how long they will sell tickets to, it may mean i will be still sitting here at 12am.

well, maybe i'll get a steal on tickets. okay, that was corny.

things i happen to be thinking about/things i remember thinking about during the day:

1. today i emailed most of my friends and family the web address of this blog. i didn't want anyone to know what i was doing, cause i wasn't sure if i would actually keep up with it, but so far, so good. i'll be honest, this "sharing" makes me nervous. those who know me understand that i am a very honest person. my truthfulness is a great characteristic, but absolutely does get me in trouble. a lot of times people do not want to hear what i say. i'm blunt. i'm actually trying to work on that. i want to be able to be completely honest with someone- even if what i am saying is hard to hear- but i want to learn how to do it without making people upset with me. i guess maybe thats why i am worried to share this blog with my friends and family. i don't want to upset anyone. at the same time, i also do not want people to think differently about me because of what they may read. but you know what? i am what i am. really, it is that simple. the people who are reading this have surely seen their ups and downs with me, and i do know that they will love me regardless of whatever i say or do.... i just hope i don't offend anyone. maybe i should put up some "caution" tape.

(disclaimer: read at your own risk! some material not appropriate for all viewing audiences)

but you know, if i plan on going to get a graduate degree in creative non-fiction, then i sure as hell need to get over my fear of having people read what i write.

2. i have been thinking about change lately. actually, i have been thinking about change quite a bit. maybe that is because i have been doing so much of it this year. do you think it is possible for someone to change? i do. but at the same time, i wonder to what degree people can change.
i think sometimes people don't change simply because they do not allow themselves to change. i for one understand just how scary change can be. but i really feel bad for people who don't put the effort into change just because they don't want to experience the good and bad of it all. i think also, people do not change because there are certain "expectations" of them. i know this one first hand. now, this is my own hang up. i can be whomever i want- but its hard to make others understand that the expectations they may have had at one point, do not line up with whom you are today.

3. i have an appointment for a deep tissue massage next friday. ohhhhh, its going to be so good. i desperately need a massage. in fact, i think i need a weekly massage for a good few months until my body feels relaxed. i love massages. its a damn shame fenway doesn't know how to give a massage. that damn dog never has to do anything in this house. she ought to work for her rent somehow, and she sure as hell isn't doing any cooking or cleaning.

4. it has come to my attention that i make quite a few very expressive faces when i converse. and that i cover my mouth with my hand almost regularly while eating.

5. i love to hug and kiss people. loovvvveeeeeeee it. thank god holly taught me how to hug. sounds silly? well it isn't. i guess i wasn't a good hugger. i was a self conscious hugger. so holly taught me how to be a whole hearted hugger. and i am beyond grateful that she taught me that. because hugging is one of my absolute favorite things to do. now, i get upset when people don't give me a real hug. and i guarantee you've all heard- "wait, i'm not done hugging you yet!" before. but you know what makes me so self conscious? when guys pick me up when they hug me. i don't know why, but it ruins the hug mood for me. i like to be hugged; i like to be picked up. but the combination of the two make me nervous. hell, maybe i need someone to teach me how to hug with my feet off the ground. i'd ask you hol, seeing as you are such a hug pro, but (no offense) i don't think you are strong enough. lol. i'll save you some back strain.

6. i've already gotten responses from my "the secrets out; i've got a blog" email. so far, the responses aren't all as pretty as i hoped. i've been informed that having a blog isn't the best idea, because if i ever were to interview for a job, they could possibly see my blog and that its dangerous to put myself out there. i knew this would happen, but still. i was hoping to hear, "wow, you're the best blogger in the world, even if you've only been at it for a month or so." OR "erin, i am in love with your writing style, my family member/friend/mafia boss/whomever is in charge of graduate admissions at a university/college, and i've already shown him/her your blog. not only are they going to give you an honorary PhD, but they want to hire you as a writing teacher with a starting salary of 55.3 million dollars a year!" well, maybe not, but still. i appreciate all wise words of concern, but as of now, i am a blogger, and that isn't changing. i love you friends and family members!

7. i wonder why people do not compliment each other very often. i try to compliment at least one person a day. i think i started this "compliment project" early on in college, and since it has begun, i've gotten to the point that i don't even think about it any more, i just spew compliments regularly. i mean, it could be as simple as telling someone that the green shirt they are wearing looks great on them. you don't need to get all fancy with your compliments to please anyone. i think just getting a compliment at all is good enough. also, there is nothing more wonderful than an honest compliment, where you know the person saying it means what they say. i have been extremely fortunate to have been on the receiving end of quite a few compliments recently and i must say that it feels really nice. i'm also highly impressed with the choice of adjectives which have been used: "exceptional, stellar, rare and extraordinary" wow. impressed.

8. i am really tired. i require about 20 hours of sleep per day in order to function well. as long as i get about 7, i'll survive. it seems as if i have been getting no more than 5 a night lately, with a few nights being even less.

9. this is a note to all of the felons or lunatics who may possibly stumble across my blog. you might as well just stop looking now, because i really do not have the patience to deal with a lunatic now a days. seriously. it wouldn't entertain me to have a stalker either. plus, i betcha i've got some serious hidden anger issues, and i'd probably win if we got into a dangerous altercation. all i'm saying is that i would kick some serious felon ass. my blog does not want to be friends with anyone with malicious, disrespectful or psychotic interests. so scram.

(also- very important. if you are, or have been, one of my clients or students... you are SSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not allowed to be reading this. so stop. please. thank you)

10. i'm really warm right now, but i know the second i take my sweater off, and i'm wearing just my tee shirt, i am going to get cold. so i'm not taking my sweater off. and that is that.

11. i really do love to eat out. i think i thought about eating out quite a bit today. i should start writing the places i think about down, because whenever it comes time to actually go out and eat, i can never think of a place to go. but i've got all kinds of ideas today.

12. i really miss the emerson family. i don't want to be a selfish person, but i do believe my life is better when they are in it on a regular basis. so, i kind of want them to live near me, like ridiculously close to me. so i can hug them all the time. i love them.

13. it is only the middle of november, and i already miss the red sox.

14. i really want to go to sleep for the night, but it is only 8:36pm. i don't think people over the age of 1o and under the age of 90 are allowed to go to bed at 8:30pm. (unless they want to get made fun of) what to do, what to do?

15. okay, i'm going to watch the episode of grey's i missed last night, bring fenway to the bathroom and then pass out.

goodnight readers who consist of friends, family members and strangers who do not happen to be serial killers, rapists, lunatics, stalkers or anyone else who i's have to beat up.

i should be writing! its my goal to write at least every other day. i've been pretty scatterbrained in the past few days. so this blog will probably an example of the mess of thoughts in my head.

first of all, i think the red sox deserve a little praise for their win last night! i forgot how much the october post season is damaging to my health! oh the anxiety and lack of sleep! on this i thrive!

i'm watching the presidential debate while i am typing this, and i have oh so many opinions. first of all, i am starting to get quite upset with both obama and mccain because neither of these men seem to understand that their answers are supposed to be one minute long. tom brokaw has already made numerous comments regarding limiting their answers to 60 seconds, but obviously neither of these very well educated men were ever taught how to count.

i will state that i am truly amazed at the memory of these men. they remember things such as each others voting history, etc. now, i obviously know that both these men have excessive staff members to fact check and prepare for these debates. irregardless, in situations such as this, regardless of how well a person speaks publicly, the stress level is very high, and there is no one there on the side of them feeding them the best possible answer. i am impressed with both candidates memory recall and have faith in the intelligence of both candidates.

i'm voting for obama. i'd like to set the record straight on that one once and for all. (although, i can't imagine writing anything which would lead you to believe i support mccain/palin... sorry mrs. emerson)

speaking of elizabeth, i'm still pretty shocked that we do not agree about anything political (for the most part). eliz and i are so close, agree on so many things, and have 100% faith in each others opinions and decisions, yet our thoughts on politics are drastically different.

i can't even begin to describe how happy i am that i am going to be in georgia so very soon with chris and eliz. this is something i have needed to do for quite some time. i cannot believe it has been over a year since i saw them in person. i cannot even believe that me and eliz are no longer smokers!!! (yay to us!). that in itself is such a huge change. when the three of us were roommates, elizabeth and i would stay up until 4 or 5am on nights chris was working, and we would sit on the stairs on smoke so many cigarettes that sometimes we would have to head out to buy some more! things sure have changed. i need a break. i need some time to relax, some time to have fun, some time away from work. my life has been defined by work lately, and i need to rejuvenate or i'm going to crash.

here is my problem. it's selfish. i had this whole idea of a vacation which was all about me, eliz and chris. unfortunately, this will not be the case. chris's brother "moved" to georgia this week (interesting timing) and will be staying with them indefinitely until he gets settled. here is where i admit that The Brother and i dated briefly a few years ago. yeah, it didn't go very well. at all. do i dislike him? no, not at all. The Brother has a problem with understanding the difference between reality and his perception of reality. he has a good heart and good intentions, but i just feel like that is a chapter which is closed in my life. now of course i understand that because eliz and chris and i are so close, The Brother will always be around. that's fine- i could see him at family gatherings, holidays, etc. BUT The Brother is a resident of rhode island, not georgia and i haven't taken any time for myself for too long. i don't want to share eliz and chris with him. i've picked up and moved down south. i understand what that process is like. i think The Brother could have easily waited a few weeks and got his life in order up here before going down there. i just don't want to have to cater to him or walk on eggshells around him, and that is exactly what it is going to be like. even in writing this right now. i feel bad; i don't want to hurt The Brother's feelings. i know if chris were reading this, he would be upset (which makes sense because he obviously loves his brother) and that isn't my intention. i just want to escape with my friends and leave my past and my present stress behind.

i feel like such a negative nellie...

i think this very well may be my favorite quote of the evening: brokaw "hey, i'm
just the hired help!"

i also think the best question posed was: "what don't you know, and how will you learn it." from peggy in NH. i think this is something i would like to hear a well presented argument from each candidate on. i remember in college when i wrote papers, i knew there were certain points i needed to make and organized my argument appropriately. i propose both mccain and obama write papers on this question. ha. i think the honest answers would make this presidential election very clear for voters.

basically, my only suggestion for voters would be to vote for the person you truly trust. everyone has their own opinions on who would be the best person for the position, but in a situation like we are in right now, where so many people do not trust our current president, it is majorly important to have our new leader be as trustworthy as possible.

i'm getting my haircut on friday, and i am very excited about this. i hope my hopes aren't too high. i don't want to be disappointed. i just remember how much i liked my hair last year and i need a change of style right now. so hopefully all goes well.

i love my dog. she is my favorite political advisor.